Kya aap motape se pareshaan hai?
Kya aap hamesha conscious feel karte hai?
Kya ladkiyaan aapke taraf dhyaan nahi deti?
Kya aap <insert generic fat shaming shit> ?
Well, if anything above holds true, this post might, just might be a getaway drug to a beautiful process cause ‘trying to stay fit’. Read on.
There is a reason why I have mentioned ‘Nobody believes I go the gym’ on my Instagram because irony 69s itself when I talk about health in general. However, from my experiments with pumping iron, pounding protein shakes, and doing bodyweight exercises, I have gained the right and the moral authority to express my judgments on the web.
Anyway, jokes apart, I just want to list down a few pointers which might be useful to everyone – beginners, pros, gym-rats, skinny dudes, snobs, assholes etc. Even pros tend to forget things. This post is meant for all. This isn’t a foolproof rulebook but just some collated tips from my own experience, a guide if you may call, to work it out rightly in the gym.
Not everything here might be absolutely accurate. I might be wrong too. Don’t abuse and lash out like a doofus. Simply point out what’s wrong and we all can learn together. I am simply providing pointers, read more on the web J
Stretching
Joey did say eating chips is like stretching. It warms up your body for the upcoming meal. Well, Tribbiani trivia aside, stretching is super important to avoid cramps and unwanted muscle tears and sprains. Go for Spot-jog, jump, high-knees, super light weight exercises to start off with. Don’t do the cliché extreme stretches. Your stiff muscles can get hurt af. Heat yourself a little and then only progress to the heavy shizz. Also post workout stretching is a MUST.
Switching Routines
Never let your body get too used to one particular schedule. Amp up, spiff it up, change your routine maybe after 4 5 weeks and let your body adapt to something new. Change is good.
Alternate Push Pull
Well, consider a typical shoulder/chest workout. You are pushing the dumbbell away from your body.Eg. Dumbbell Press / Chest Press
Consider a back workout like seated row. You are in the pulling mode here.
It’s simply if you are working opposite actions on consequent days, chances of injuries are far less.
Advisable to not do chest shoulders on successive days. Combine on one day if possible. It’s fucking tough but with time, you’ll ace it.
Arm Workout
The peoples’ favorite – Biceps and Triceps. There are some chumps who work out their arms EVERYDAY. Boss, your muscles need some frigging time to heal. Keep a day or two at the most for arms at 2-3 days interval. Your bicep muscle needs 2 full days to heal itself completely (read).
Combine your triceps/biceps on one day for a better result. The alternate expansion (triceps) and contractions (bicep) provides some killer pumping.
Abs
Always one guy who lifts his shirt up to check out the progress of the core. Honestly, abs DOES NOT indicate total fitness. It is simply an indication of low body fat. Also, a BIG MYTH that ab crunches will reduce tummy and make it flat. They will give definition and strength as far as I know.
Plank FTW. Kettle bells FTW. Cable Crunches FTW if you want that ripped enviable core.
Not ignoring bodyweight exercises
Striking a harmony between weight training and body weight exercises can toughen you up like nething. Wings, Pull ups, Pushups FTW!
Forearms
We dudes know the best workout for stronger forearms, right? * giggle* But seriously, tough forearm gives great strength to the arms plus the veins popping out is a sight to behold.
Running
Too much running will make jack a skinny boy. Yes, pacing like a mad rabid animal can sadly cut muscle. Instead go for High Intensity Running. Switch speeds every one-two minutes (go from 6 to 8. 8 to 6. 6 to 10. Etc). Fuck up the heart rate, YES but fat loss acha hota hai bro.
HIIT
This mad shit is one thing is REALLY need to incorporate in my life. HIIT superwoman and mutant Protima Dumbbells and Drama will help you cut that stubborn fat in no time. Routines so extreme, you would want to leave the plane. TRY EM OUT!
Resting
Now, don’t put that towel on your face and doze off on the bench. But it’s good to take a break between sets. Also, keep in mind don’t sit for long too. Keep walking..take standing rest! It keeps your body active, warm and maintains the pump. Unless you are bloody drained and cannot walk, avoid sitting/reclining anywhere.
Also take a break in between if possible.
GYM GYM GYM BREAK GYM GYM BREAK. That’s pretty much my 7 days.
Sleep
We noctural creatures have it tough. Our night ends when we lock our phones way past our bedtime. Sleep is probably one of the MOST essential activities to help you build yourself because..no prizes for guessing the healing happens then. Anything less than 7-8 hours will not give the expected results. Also, your sleep cycle needs to remain constant. Throw away that phone and doze off mate!
Correct Form
There are always a few people whose screams puts the best of the best pornstars to shame. If you observe, most of these buffed up chumps work out incorrectly when under extreme weights. Form is key. Use average weight, it’s okay. No one is judging. Make sure, you are doing your exercise rightly.
Encouragement
Trust me, with the correct spotter and the right encouragement and boosting, you can actually work out better. Also, the high degree of faith and confidence that your spotter shows, while he assists you helps a LOT. I MEAN A LOT!
Diet
The bitch of em all – DIET. I miserably fail in this domain, but if you want to achieve perfect results in reasonable amount of time, follow clean eating. By diet, I am not telling you to starve. Idiots do that. Eat proper – monitor macronutrients like carbs, and pump in adequate protein.
DIET 80% workout 20%
My plausible logic to this is you are out of the gym for about 80% of the time, so what you eat and what you do matters a lot OUTSIDE the gym
Supplements
Mind you, they supplement your diet. Do not avoid meals. Also, now if you need a gainer or a lean muscle whey protein. Always buy from authorized dealers only. For eg. ON has only three legit dealers – NEUVERA Wellness Ventures Pvt. Ltd, Bright Commodities, and Primarc Pecan Retail Private Limited. Any apart from these and maybe you are having Bournvita. YOU NEVER KNOW. Always check before buying.
I want to be like THE ROCK!
Have you fucking seen his diet? His workout regimen? It’s okay to idolize someone but we need to remember these guys mostly have goal-based regimen. Unless you are batshit rich and can afford their level of nutrition and guidance, good for you. Else, work towards a fitness, lifestyle based! DO NOT have unrealistic goals. Guys, a ripped body cannot be naturally achievable in a short time. Girls, your idealistic bikini body is going to take time too. Patience is a virtue.
The most important of the lot
NEVER SKIP LEG DAY
I have said this a LOT of times – Chicken Legs only look good on a plate. A heavy buffed up upper body and stick figures as legs is a massive turn off. Keep one day dedicated for legs and you should NOT BE ABLE to walk properly at the end. Go for squats, leg press, leg extensions, calf raises, lunges, sumo squats. Two kinds of people should be kept away from life – Who ask you, if you need extra butter in your pav bhaji, AND those who tell you it is okay to skip leg day.
Hope this helps.
EAT WELL | CHUG THAT PROTEIN | PUMP SOME IRON | REPEAT
Till next time,
Cheers
REBEL DIARIES 